Friday, September 10, 2010

on Faith

For so many years I thought that when I lost weight my life would magically be perfect...... In the last 7 months I have shed over 50lbs which is very gratifying and I love trying on clothes and feeling cute, but..... life still carries on in it's chaotic reverie! My husband is out of work and looking in a very difficult market and our stuff is falling apart and we don't have the means to fix it. I was hanging on and feeling good until last week; until I stepped in dog poop in my brand new shoes, until my computer hard-drive crashed with everything important to my work on it (no, I didn't back it up), until warning lights started coming on in my car.

On September 7th we have been married for 19 years. Is that one of those restless anniversaries because we're in such a state of flux the earth is moving?

Dave is, as they say, in a career transition and diligently looking for work.

"Just because there are questions does not mean there are answers" (Kiyoko Larner, Darger's landlord)  therefore, I say, there can only be faith. My journey through the twelve steps has me more faithful than I have ever been in my life. Promises of the program tell me, "We will lose fear of economic insecurities. I am being doled out one day in front of me, nothing more.  quiet time with the creative energy of the universe, reading positive material and being authentic everyday is the way I will get through the current chaos..... faith in the present.

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