Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I think I'm a 'Brave Girl', finally.

Would you like to join me in a 6 week 'soul restoration' through your own visual Journaling? After reading Melody Ross' blog post today I decided I have come so far in such a short time (God willing) and I can actually call myself a Brave Girl! Melodie's story telling is nothing short of inspired and super entertaining. I laughed and felt deeply that I'm not the only one who lives with somewhat humbling/humiliating scenarios daily.

This time last year I was miserable, just plain fat and looking for happiness in my daily binges..... sorry if this offends but I'm not any of those things anymore so it actually feels good to say it now. I was binging not only on every refined carbohydrate in sight but also on sadness and self pity. My days were spent mostly hiding out at home feeling sick and my nights were spent eating alone and in despair. One of the most embarrassing episodes was actually at my sister's house over Christmas holidays. My family and I were all together for the holiday and as in many families it was tense and stress filled. My sister is an amazing cook and baker and she had her patio table, outside the kitchen, filled with lovely sweets. as everyone was heading to bed one night I made a bee-line for the patio table (I was spending the day there in my mind anyway) I'm sure you can predict the outcome of that night.... I had my fill and felt more and more outrageously disgusted with myself as the minutes ticked by. It's a memory now though, life is really different today.... just for today I'm a Brave Girl. I follow a food plan given to me by a long line of other women with food obsessions, I'm 60 lbs lighter and I feel so free from thinking about my next fix that I'm getting on with life and art and love.

I'm running a Soul Restoration Group from the Brave Girls Club website. If you head over there to sign up for the class mention me as the leader of the group, I need six people to qualify! You won't need the kit mentioned as I will share with you all of my favorite things and we'll get going in the week of January 11 on a day that works for everyone.

Friday, December 3, 2010

stormy journal

Storm Journal $60.00

A few people have mentioned that I need boyish journals so here it is; A new one is up. It says," stop telling God how big your storm is and start telling the storm how big your God is". It's made with a map of Vancouver collaged onto the cover of an Opus Slim artist sketchbook (8.5x11). The boat is made out of the page of an old book I got at the Vernon Safeway, Le Roi Des Mont. First I primed it with Golden Gesso and then a layer of stormy acrylic paint. After that I cut up and stuck down the map of Vancouver, making sure to keep the parts with water uncovered. I trimmed the waves with a hint of ink and touched them all up with a bit more paint. Finally I added a boat and a bird and now it just needs a quick topcoat and a dreamer who wants to write all their stormy stories.

Monday, November 22, 2010

So techie, ALT

I just made a favicon..... see that little face up on the browser tab? I made that without having a clue what I was doing! It took about an hour to figure it out but I did it.....
I'm so excited, I've been working on my website (actually a blog) I'm learning all kinds of techie things and feeling so empowered.... powerful really. What an accomplishment, when you seem to know nothing for so long and all of a sudden you can solve your own problems (with some help of course). I seem to be doing that in life as well, for years I went along thinking I could not earn a living, support myself, believe in anything important, make a website. I felt as though life was a 'not so magic carpet ride' and I was going to slip off at any moment and plummet to darkness. My new truth is that it IS a magic carpet ride and DREAMS can come to fruition if I see them and expect them and most of all, ask for them. Deborah says ALT (that little key that most of don't use on the computer keyboard)ASK, LISTEN, TAKE ACTION. So that's what I've been doing and do you know what, there are answers being downloaded actively.
I don't think I'll ever get over my amazement that there is a living power-greater-than-ourselves who wants to give us a super life where we easily solve challenges and learn brilliant answers.
Early on in 2010 I was given the word success, and so far this year that is exactly what I have received. I found a program for living on January 14 and I have lost around 60 lbs because of it, I now wear a size 6!!! I have turned my business around, now a thriving and fun art and teaching work in progress. I've stopped living as though I'm waiting for things to begin and I'm living in a messy, crazy, dive right in kind of world. Not sure what 2011 will be about but just for today I'll carry out 'success' a little longer. Remember ALT.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

proud Mom

Tonight I had the unique privilege to see my beautiful boy in uniform.

He'd hate it that I'm writing this because he is quiet, reserved and oh so handsome with his gorgeous full head of red hair. He has recently joined our local group of air cadets and is, so far, very positive about the experience. If you had have told me that my wild, wake-boarding, fun loving red head would cut off those locks and be in a GLIDER by October I definitely wouldn't have believed you. If you had have told me that that same summer loving, barefoot son of mine would march in big, shiny black boots and a blue uniform I would have called you crazy!!! But, my infinitely wise children teach me something everyday and today I learned that life is in perfectly perpetual motion. Mitch aka. "Conservative" (as he's known now in the cadet circle) loves to learn, to be a contributing member of his own community, and (best of all, my wish came true) has self esteem to just be march his own path. The smile says it all and tonight as he tried on the whole ensemble we were both grinning ear to ear.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Celebratory November

for the month of November I will be at
Fabulous Finds at The Summerhill Winery on November 5, 4-9pm & 6, 10-4

Join me at Opus for a free demo on Mixed Media and creative journaling
November 13, 2-4pm get there early as seating is limited.

On November 26 and 27 Studio 4 & 5, 375 Bernard ave we swing our doors wide open and invite you to see where we work creatively. The studios will be crammed with the beautiful collections of seven career artists. This one is not to be missed.
nikkibalfour.com
kendraart.com
Amy Burkard
Tina Schnellert
Carrie Harper
Lisa Brown

Monday, October 25, 2010

allnighter~making journals

I went to sleep at 5:30am and woke in a stupor at 7:30 to drive a kid to the bus stop. I painted 4 new 8.5" x 11" journals that will be available at Fabulous Finds and at my free Opus demo as well as at my studio show on November 26 & 27. An all-nighter of pure blissful creating with mixed media.

The original, hand-painted Journals will be $60.00 at the show
and the reproduction 5" x 8' journals will be  $25.00 at the show


all the journals are made with artist quality sketchbooks with acid-free archival paper so you can be confident that you can create memories. the cloth journals come in a few fun colors with an image created by me on the cover. These journals lay flat for ease of use doing full crossover pages. I'll post pictures in my next post

Thursday, October 7, 2010

They come through me

"The works I paint are not my own, but my Father who lives in me does his work through me."
~ John 14:10

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Uganda Girl in her new home

that was her last night this is her this morning! I'm so excited about this project.... super fun and dear to my heart. She's not quite done but getting close. I'm still going to add some text and a couple of more embellishments and then I'll give her to her new owner.... hope she likes!


Here she is in her new home, an 8.5x11 hardbound journal, with out any lovely embellishments. I'm just to about to get going on making her all pretty and ready for her owner. She's going to get a neck and other niceties. I'll keep updating!

Monday, September 27, 2010

new journal project

I am so excited to be invited to make a custom hand painted journal which may be copied into multiple journals. Here is the drawing I have started for this project. I've decided to be more organized and document the process of this project... I hope I can stick with it as this is way out of character for me. Here goes:

Monday, September 20, 2010

Suzi Skool, mermaids and plenty of good drama!

I'm an artist hermit. In the spring of 2010 I found suziblutube while surfing my little macbook lying in my cozy bed. She wove art into her wonderful girly gypsy life and waxed poetic about her constant companion pup, Gigi. I found myself falling in love with Suzi and Gigi and before I knew it I wanted to jump out of bed and draw and paint and sprinkle gold dust on everything. I quickly learned to incorporate pretty girls into my art and developed something more exciting than I could have in 5 years on my own. I am forever grateful to http://alovelydream.com/site/Welcome.html and http://alovelydream.com/site/Les_Petit_Academy.html for sparking the creative spirit in that had taken a painful hiatus!


With Suzi blu you will learn to draw and paint and layer and embellish but you will also learn the power of a creative community and acceptance from like minded folks.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

ArtWalk stories

I spent a glorious 14 hours last weekend, at Lake Country Art Walk, sitting with my paintings while chatting with onlookers. It was exhilarating, terrifying, tiring, exciting, and so many things rolled into one. I'm a producer of things and a seller of those things. It really is so much more than that though. Stories. Most people who buy art want a story and most art has a story, I believe it's the story they are buying not the art. Art is a purely emotional experience for the maker and the purchaser. I sold 3 paintings during art walk and then another one just after, what an absolute thrill! I love the idea of little pieces of me; my nighttime dreams, my daytime visions, my surges of creative energy that pulse through me all with their own path toward someones wall. So many details culminate into each painting and the space where they are created is the foundation.

At the end of September I will be moving out of my studio.....insert pouty face...... So I can save a bit of money on rent and then move back in January.... happy face! A lovely artist will fill in for me, which I am ever so grateful, so that I can gather my reluctant business self. In the mean time I'm teaching a mixed media workshop on October 2nd and moving all my art stuff into my dining room. It really changes the way I work to change my surroundings. I'm like one of those little turtles that stays the same size when they're in their little plastic pond (with the palm tree,  I'm a child of the 60's). Anyway, My point is that my work will change again in the next couple of weeks as I move back home to paint. I'm hoping to be more consistent with blogging to record said changes! Stay tuned.

Friday, September 10, 2010

on Faith

For so many years I thought that when I lost weight my life would magically be perfect...... In the last 7 months I have shed over 50lbs which is very gratifying and I love trying on clothes and feeling cute, but..... life still carries on in it's chaotic reverie! My husband is out of work and looking in a very difficult market and our stuff is falling apart and we don't have the means to fix it. I was hanging on and feeling good until last week; until I stepped in dog poop in my brand new shoes, until my computer hard-drive crashed with everything important to my work on it (no, I didn't back it up), until warning lights started coming on in my car.

On September 7th we have been married for 19 years. Is that one of those restless anniversaries because we're in such a state of flux the earth is moving?

Dave is, as they say, in a career transition and diligently looking for work.

"Just because there are questions does not mean there are answers" (Kiyoko Larner, Darger's landlord)  therefore, I say, there can only be faith. My journey through the twelve steps has me more faithful than I have ever been in my life. Promises of the program tell me, "We will lose fear of economic insecurities. I am being doled out one day in front of me, nothing more.  quiet time with the creative energy of the universe, reading positive material and being authentic everyday is the way I will get through the current chaos..... faith in the present.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A few images of what I'm working on. Lots of layers so they are changing daily. These ones will be ready for artwalk in Lake Country on September 11 and 12

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I've been flying under the radar since January, not blogging. I made a huge life decision which brought about change. Upon the realization that I am, amongst other things, an addict and my drug of choice being food I gave up eating flour, sugar and all potential binge foods. I think I was using food to deal with my mental illness and it had gotten out of control.
It has been a process of letting go of my coping mechanism completely and replacing it with something new. I'm not sure how to write about the process and how much to divulge. I'm fine with the inherent messiness of bi-polar and writing about it, up until now, seemed natural and cathartic. Writing about a food addiction is entirely another thing.
I can start by saying my new lifestyle has led to me weighing 43 lbs less than I did in January! I've gone from wearing a size 16 to a size 8. I feel healthier than I have in my adult life and I truly believe that releasing my issues with eating and facing them everyday with support has led to mental, emotional and physical well being.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

it's ten to 3 am on Saturday night, January 2 (well, technically 3rd). I'm still awake watching vids on my laptop... listening to music on my new ipod. I have creative ideas surging through my system. Like, seriously, my WHOLE system. They must start in my brain but some moments shortly past the brain they become a fully physiological idea and I start zapping down to my digits. seconds after that my brain must be freed up because another one will hit and then another and then another...........
• I need to get to the studio and paint using my old photos/ overhead projector and oil paints, pastels,charcoal.
• close-ups of horses, burned trees, leaves, stones, flowers
I'm excited about this idea after seeing an artist on "Landscape as Muse".

I've also been looking forward to making changes to the kitchen. I'm printing tumbled marble tiles with my photos of close-up hydrangea.... lots of fresh greens and a bit of purple 4"x4" interspersed with plain creamy marble. it's going to look great if we can get it done. first, i have to source marble that matches the ones I already have! THEN, best part of all.... we're getting new appliances. Ours are the absolute cheapest, crappiest that were available in 2004. The oven burns everything on the bottom and is not self-cleaning. The dishwasher is leaving little rust circles on all the white dishes and the fridge is boring and hard to get into. I'm hoping for a fridge with french doors...... I know, does'nt that sound cool?

In the midst of ALL this I continually wonder if my body and brain are going haywire again. I am a skipping stone. The intermittent sleep, agoraphobia, psychedelic creativity, shaking, buzzing, collapsing. All signs that I'm probably not supposed to partake in the fun of self inflicted chaos.... chaos of life is normal though, right?
Why does it feel so unmanageable when you're bipolar?
Everyone close to me says," you can't do that", or, "be careful", or "don't take on so much". So, I'm down to doing pretty much, NOTHING....like, a big fat goose egg and the spinning, colorful artistic ideas keep coming. so I'm going for it again, be forewarned. I can't let all these rare kernels pop without catching them.

Insert: for anyone out there prescribed *Oxycarbazapine it has some weird side effects; enlarged pupils, really watery and sensitive eyes, I think it's causing blured vision..... not sure

*(these are all based on my own assessment and in no way implicate a doctor or pharmaceutical company)

3:44 I wonder if I can sleep now? more pills?