Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Bad things I do

i have this feeling of immanent danger or immanent "i'm forgetting to do something important and someone's going to be mad at me". One of my voices says,"who cares if someone's mad at you" and then another, "dude, can you do that, not care that someone's mad at you?".
I do a lot of of really bad things. For example; on Tuesday night I ate a huge bag of cranberry trail mix at 11:55 pm. I watch Martha Stewart at 11:05am in my jammies. So many bad things. Some of the fruit and vegetables go bad in the fridge because we ate frozen pizza instead of stir-fry. Oh, the guilt and remorse provide many hours of entertainment for the judge.

June 18 2008

I've been thinking about writing a web diary for some time but hesitate to perpetuate the rampant narcissism of our cyber-world. That's me always a rebel and opposer:

ORIGIN late Middle English : from Old French opposer, from Latin opponere (see opponent ), but influenced by Latin oppositus ‘set or placed against’ and Old French poser ‘to place.’

I'm getting ready to hang a show of my most recent paintings. I worked hard to be one of those event planners who was organized and prepared, blah, blah, blah. Instead I'm making my best work since a long time...at the last minute. I mixed a big pot of dark purple last week and obliterated 4 canvases that were part of that yucky "organizing for the show group". They have turned into something that I look forward to observing with other observers.
Today is for observing the critical self aka. witch/bitch that always tells me to stop being sooooo _______ creative, spontaneous, forgetful, in-the-moment. Apparently, according to Eckhart, one can step alongside the bitch and watch her make a bloody fool of herself, laugh and then carry on Being. By the way, if you read my shit you will notice that I am not, nor will I ever be, correcting grammatical errors or using politically correct -ease (tongue out, blowing raspberry) Ok, so, even I am detecting an angry teenager tone but it's only my first day writing down this boiling cauldron of burnt.